I am not a solitary person

I set out on this bike trip having no idea how it would go and how I would feel. I have seen some beautiful and amazing places, and I have physically held up to the trip as well as I hoped.

Mentally though, not so much and this is not quite what I expected. I enjoy time alone. This is one thing I love about my daily bike rides at home, especially when I’m out in the countryside. But, in an hour or two I am back in town greeting friends, and then back at my house with my husband.

Being out by myself day after day, night after night is wearing on me and I am ready to go home. I have met a few people along the way but it’s a fleeting relationship and for me, no substitute for the friendships I have at home.

I shouldn’t be surprised. Most of my life I have worked with people. I gave up a good line of work because it was mostly solitary and I got tired of that.

I’m also very tired of being cold! Days are usually ok but every night it is a challenge to keep warm. I have a good sleeping bag and manage to keep warm enough to sleep but you can’t stick your hands out or they quickly get cold. I’ve even had to cover my face a lot of the time.

So, the amended plan is to make it to Crescent City by tomorrow night and try for a greyhound bus to Santa Rosa. If that doesn’t work because it’s only a bus stop and I have a bike, I’ll try in Eureka where there are bike shops to box my bike, and I think a bus station.

But, I don’t regret doing this. I don’t regret all I have seen and experienced, and all I have learned. I am also very thankful for my husband who has been so understanding of my need to do my own thing, including this thing. But, a good relationship is not something to be taken for granted and I will be very happy when we are together again.

So, that is how things stand at the moment. It sounds good to say I am biking back to Panama but I’m glad I never promised more than – we’ll see how it goes.

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About Kris Cunningham

We live in David, Chiriqui Provence, Republic of Panama! This blog is about some of our experiences in our new country.
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31 Responses to I am not a solitary person

  1. Joyce says:

    Kris, I totally understand how you feel. It is something that just can not be anticipated. You have definitely given it your all and for that you will always be my hero! I miss you and will look forward to seeing you at my gate soon! I send a big hug and lots of love. You have my support in any decision.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. oldsalt1942 says:

    I hate this. Not that I don’t understand, completely, I do. I don’t know where I read this long ago, or even if I’m quoting it correctly, but not all dreams survive being pierced by reality. I certainly don’t think any less of you. After all, it was my dream to retire to Panama and probably die here, but as you know I’m returning to the States in a couple of months, and by “returning” I mean permanently.

    I’m going to miss the pictures, though.

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    • Well it was a dream, and I experienced all that I need to at this time. I’m at the time of my life where I can go where my desires take me, and right now they take me back to family but that certainly doesn’t mean I won’t be dreaming up other adventures!

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  3. Anonymous says:

    Kris. You have done amazing just taking the first steps in this journey and I am happy for what you have accomplished. You think the cold is bad, the heat once you reach Mexico, will be killer if you’re not careful. And always remember you aren’t really alone, everyone is following you.

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    • Thank you! I am very used to tropical heat and am looking forward to getting back to it. I’m sure that’s a lot of the problem, that I’m not acclimated to cooler climate. And, I still want very much to visit Mexico!

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  4. Carol says:

    Kris,
    I’m so glad for you. This was to be an adventure, not a trial by bike.
    You have accomplished feats most of us could never attempt and you took us along with you. Odds are excellent that I will never see the fabulous countryside you have
    presented so well. It has been exciting reading your impressions and
    applauding your resolve and coping skills, but now I can exhale.
    Come on home where the temperatures are in the 90s!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Annelise Driscoll says:

    IM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!! YOU ARE FEARLESS, ADVENTUROUS, WORLD TRAVELER, FRIENDLY, FIT, AND LIVING EVERY SINGLE DAY TO THE FULLEST WITH A SMILE AND A NATURAL AWE OF BEAUTY AND NATURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO BE YOU AT YOUR AGE SO IM WORKING MY WAY UP TO IT LITTLE AT A TIME BUT WOW, I AM SO FREAKING PROUD OF YOU I CANT EVEN CONVEY IT IN WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A FANTASTIC, PRICELESS, MEMORABLE EXPERIENCE YOU JUST HAD!!!! XXXXX ANNELISE

    Liked by 2 people

  6. wynnekwilson says:

    Oh Kris, you have done already so much more than many people. You are fearless and have certainly proved it. Cycling alone is a lonely hobby but you have stirred ambitions in me and I am sure many others. I am filled with awe at your achievements. Whatever you decide next will be a positive move and we who are following your travels wholeheartedly support any decision. Can I confess to a certain feeling of relief if you meet your husband earlier! I worry if I don’t see regular postings! Take good care and keep us updated.. Wynne

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Carol says:

    Kris, I’m so glad you are headed home. You were off on an adventure-which you most certainly had- and I applaud your decision. Odds are excellent that I will never see that part of the world, but I did get to view it through your eyes and impressions while always in awe of your courage and resolve. It was a trip by proxy for me. It was also a cliffhanger, and now we can all exhale. Come on home where the temps are in the 90s!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I hope you see this part of the world because it is so beautiful! But if not I’m glad I could show you a bit of it through my photos. Don’t hold your breath any more though. Things always work out one way or another, so no worries

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  8. Kris, you said, “Things always work out in the end, and if it hasn’t worked out it only means it isn’t the end.” This certainly isn’t the end for you. What a marvelous beginning. You’ve proven that you can follow your dreams…something not many people even attempt to begin. I love that you are not a quitter, instead always a beginner. I am so proud of your accomplishments. What a life you lead. Safe travels wherever your path may take you.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. juliasdogs says:

    I agree with the person who said you have done so much more than most people. It’s supposed to be fun. And who knows, you might try it again someday with a friend. So glad you got to see some of our beautiful coastline, and made some memories.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. ME BE in Panama says:

    In his eminently wise and readable book ‘Travels With Charlie,’ John Steinbeck wrote that on every trip, regardless how short or long, at some point we’re heading home. If this is your point, Kris, go for it and know that the support from all of us is ever there. You’re a brave woman to have come this far. Nothing wrong with heading home.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I for one am over the moon proud of you and this amazing accomplishment! I think your Awesome!! And, I have a feeling this is just the beginning of lots more adventures on that bike! Glad your coming home, but also glad your such an adventurous woman!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Carole says:

    Glad to hear you are going home, maybe we can get together in June in David. You have accomplished a lot on your bike, more than I could ever do. I understand what you mean , must be hard by yourself with no one to talk to. We will be in David a few days in the middle of June, June 15- 17.Proud of what you did, thanks for all the photos.

    Like

  13. indacampo says:

    You don’t cycle because you have to, you find joy when you cycle.

    The joy for the bike remains, the joy for the journey has diminished. And you, my dear friend deserve the joy.

    Get on the rest of the way to the joy of those grandbabies and then back to the joy of your home and Joel. 😊

    Like

    • I love your wisdom and how you can see to the heart of the matter. That’s exactly it. The joy was diminishing, so I figured there wasn’t a reason to keep doing it. I am very happy to be seeing the kids soon, and to be going back to my man and my home.

      Like

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