I set out on this bike trip having no idea how it would go and how I would feel. I have seen some beautiful and amazing places, and I have physically held up to the trip as well as I hoped.
Mentally though, not so much and this is not quite what I expected. I enjoy time alone. This is one thing I love about my daily bike rides at home, especially when I’m out in the countryside. But, in an hour or two I am back in town greeting friends, and then back at my house with my husband.
Being out by myself day after day, night after night is wearing on me and I am ready to go home. I have met a few people along the way but it’s a fleeting relationship and for me, no substitute for the friendships I have at home.
I shouldn’t be surprised. Most of my life I have worked with people. I gave up a good line of work because it was mostly solitary and I got tired of that.
I’m also very tired of being cold! Days are usually ok but every night it is a challenge to keep warm. I have a good sleeping bag and manage to keep warm enough to sleep but you can’t stick your hands out or they quickly get cold. I’ve even had to cover my face a lot of the time.
So, the amended plan is to make it to Crescent City by tomorrow night and try for a greyhound bus to Santa Rosa. If that doesn’t work because it’s only a bus stop and I have a bike, I’ll try in Eureka where there are bike shops to box my bike, and I think a bus station.
But, I don’t regret doing this. I don’t regret all I have seen and experienced, and all I have learned. I am also very thankful for my husband who has been so understanding of my need to do my own thing, including this thing. But, a good relationship is not something to be taken for granted and I will be very happy when we are together again.
So, that is how things stand at the moment. It sounds good to say I am biking back to Panama but I’m glad I never promised more than – we’ll see how it goes.